It has without doubt been the longest winter of my adult life. Literally and proverbially. To have been through the mental grilling that has been my Masters course, the emotional rollercoaster that has thrown me way off course, and the physical pain that made me cry every day so far this year...
but this week, I saw snowdrops, and I saw daffodils (not open yet, but definitely daffodils). I hung my washing out on the line and phoned my mum, and she was doing the same thing - and we laughed at our delight in small things!
I have been walking without limping for at least 5 days now, and although I still have a tough road ahead with my back (will I ever again be able to shave my legs and have sensation...or will it always be like shaving gammon??!) - I'm definitely on the right path. hey, whats a bit of sciatica between friends? ;)
So, spring is glimmering, and I still believe in fairytales. Now then, what about that music?
I have been writing intensely, incessantly it seems, for months. There is nothing like it for shaping one's musical boundaries, whilst at the same time, extending those boundaries beyond my expectations. I remember some time ago, saying that I should write a little every day, or a lot if the mood takes me - well, I listened to myself, and that is what I have done. There is rarely a day goes by when I am not scribbling some loon idea on my manuscript pad, on the train, on the tube, at Oscar & Ellen's swimming lessons (when I clearly should be watching their every move, and cooing over their achievements, I am jotting a quick sketch for oboe, or trio, or a little song that has popped into my head, Winnie the Pooh style!!)...do you think I'd get marks deducted for 'I've a Rumbly in my Tumbly'?
I received the recording of the Chroma Ensemble piece this week. Ah, Chroma...I never thought I would be able to immerse myself in that sound world, but when I stumbled across the idea of using the imagery from the Chinese painting, it all kind of slipped into place. That, combined with my determination to delve deep into understanding each instrument I write for, so that I can learn about the limitations and the potential sound world for each - it's exciting and challenging - 2 things I base my whole life on eh?!
So the recording sounds class, if not way out there at times. It's kooky, but you know what? It's not bullshit - and I wondered whether it might be.
Gary listened to it with me in my tutorial this week, and he was pretty impressed I think. He said that I managed to absorb myself into that soundworld really effectively, especially as it was new territory for me, and something I was trepidatious about. My response to that was that I like challenges (maybe a little too much??!), and if I am given a project, then I will take it seriously. There is no point blagging anything when doing a MMus at RAM is there? I'm not paying 9k a year to goof off or fake it at any point.
Anyway, Chroma - tick tock. Was pretty good. When I receive the final mixes, I'll pop the recordings on my website. Unless you are way familiar with contemporary styles, I suggest 6 glasses of wine in preparation, and 30 minutes intense audio interrogation from the likes of George Crumb, Phil Cashian, and a touch of white noise, to prepare yourself! if you still don't like it, or don't get it - don't say I didn't warn you!...I wonder what Cao Jingping in Beijing will make of it?
Today, I had a proud moment because I set up the studio for recording all on my own. And got a sound. And recorded. yeah baby - it was a good moment :)
There's lots more projects bubbling away, but musically, composerly, there's something that I've been mulling, and I'd like to share it with you.
thoughts on a postcard please...
So what interests me is this :
Someone says to you "please write me a piece of music". This is completely open
"it's for my trio - clarinet, violin, cello". This piece is less open - door 1 closes
"it should be around 8 minutes long" - door 2 closes
then the process of composing starts. But each tiny decision that is made closes another door, until the boundaries are set, and the music can be set free, within the space defined. What makes that space? How does a piece come to be happy or sad, light or dark, fast, slow, dramatic, soulful, anything at all???
This is my current quiz. I have a funny feeling it will eat me for a long time. There may be no answer.
I love writing music. It's amazing to start with that open space, and to define it until it is just full enough of the right gestures and sounds to balance, to sing or to cry.
It may have been a long, dark winter, but really...I'm having the time of my life!
bring on the daffodils my friends! xxx
