I find myself in yet another strange place. With Alex gone, maybe for now, or maybe for longer, my situation is very different. For now, it's me, Oj & Nel, and Jake the cat. What a funny little family. (I'd like to include my lovely White Yamaha, and maybe the red Fender Rhodes in my list of nearest and dearest, but fear that is clutching at straws!)
It has not been a good week for the composing, with quite a plethora of emotional backlash taking up much of my time; plus I had a dep keys gig with a new band on Saturday, and had loads of songs to learn for that. Fortunately, they were a great band, and apart from a couple of comedy errors on my part (which I hope were noticed more by me than anyone else), I did a good job. See, there it is again, the music; keeping me sane!
I shall make my apologies to Gary Carpenter tomorrow for my measly offering, but I'm hoping life will even out shortly, and allow rather more attention to the musical matters at hand.
To that end, I have decided to approach the composing very much as a skill that needs to be practiced daily, like learning an instrument. I aim to do a minimum of 30 minutes composing even on the busiest days, and where time and energy permits, 2 or 3 90 minute sessions in a day will be really productive. Finances are more than tight, so I have to fit in the teaching and gigs to keep my head above water, but I hope that I will soon find the level from where I can be most productive. Crikey, if I can do an undergrad degree whilst getting divorced and going through a custody battle for my children, I guess I can do this. It's not like anyone ever said "masters at the academy?...piece of piss", so I'm hardly unprepared for the level of work ;)
Went to LVP this evening. They are really smashing people, and, as ever, I come away feeling good. Thank goodness for friends and songs and a cup of tea! Some great new repertoire coming up. It's great that we'll be doing the 606 regularly, it gives us a platform for the new work, which is never complete until it's been gigged a bit.
Going to see the Pete for jazz composition and arranging on Wednesday. Can't wait. So much to learn, so much to say.
tra la la! xx
ps. does anyone else think the newest version of iTunes grey and annoying? I'm not being a luddite, but I did prefer the old version.
Monday 27 September 2010
Tuesday 21 September 2010
Oh yes. The jazz speaks
I'm happy to compose any kind of music. Some I'm good at, some I'm shit at, but I'll try anything. Today I had 20 minutes to compose a performance piece that could be played on any instrument, with a performance time of 10 seconds (£35 per ticket please ladies and gents!)
Myself and Laura the flautist, (who hates her name, because she thinks it's bland), came up with a piece in which specific notes or rests were assigned to letters of the alphabet. it was up to the performer to play the notes of their name, using a dynamic variation which they felt defined their character.
Pretentious perhaps, but actually quite interesting. Involve the performer in the outcome of their performance, rather than defining every factor, and you get a much more 'real' end product. i guess classical performers don't have enough room for self expression within the traditional canon of through composed pieces. Hmm, food for thought.
Saw that Gary today, and he looked right through me and out the other side. What I love to do and desire is to compose for big band, and incorporate jazz style into orchestral work. Cheeky bugger saw that in only our second meeting, and has actively encouraged me to run with it. Hurrah.
Life is better when you are saying what you want to say, rather than what you think somebody else might want to hear. I get caught between those 2 places with monotonous regularity. I really didn't think that the academy wanted to hear my jazz chops on viola, so I was trying to suppress that voice. Now I can really go out to play!
Get me some Maria Schneider and Colin Towns. Yi!!
Monday 20 September 2010
Lutoslawski, Stevie Wonder and prawns
Well, a rich combination indeed! During the evening hours I engaged deeply with Lutoslawski (the 3rd symphony; blew me away!), with Peter Maxwell Davies, and his life in Orkney, which sounds so peaceful, with Stevie Wonder, 'cause I've got a gig on Saturday and I have to play some Stevie tunes (there's no place like home, there's no place like home...), and with Joe Sample; can't believe I transcribed his solo. He is the groove- meister.
I spoke with Oj on the joys of having friends over to play, and my Pa on the joys of getting permission from my landlord to convert my shed into a music room (hurrah!). Further, I spoke with my friend who today is 40, and wondered when I would be the one with friends reaching 40, rather than dreading playing the 40th birthday gig, where people have too much fun for their age! I sent my best wishes to my newest friend who is 18 and on her way to Cambridge to study languages. She is a clever girl, and fab musician, with a super shiny future - keep polishing that future lady!
I am in the middle of a new composition for piano, based on a flower that looks like a bird; so that's a good image for me. Something that isn't quite as it seems. Nothing like a struggle to give me some good compositional material :)
I spoke with Alex, of music and double glazing, which is imminent in his chilly abode. I also bought him a nespresso machine, which I can't really afford, but just seemed like a nice thing to do.
It's been a busy day.
Tomorrow I see 'Gary the composer Carpenter' for the second time. This time with my new piano score and big band composition. Ooh.
and to top it all, I made a super yum stir fry with king prawns and cashew nuts.
Today, life is fine.
I like those days indeed.
Nunight x
I spoke with Oj on the joys of having friends over to play, and my Pa on the joys of getting permission from my landlord to convert my shed into a music room (hurrah!). Further, I spoke with my friend who today is 40, and wondered when I would be the one with friends reaching 40, rather than dreading playing the 40th birthday gig, where people have too much fun for their age! I sent my best wishes to my newest friend who is 18 and on her way to Cambridge to study languages. She is a clever girl, and fab musician, with a super shiny future - keep polishing that future lady!
I am in the middle of a new composition for piano, based on a flower that looks like a bird; so that's a good image for me. Something that isn't quite as it seems. Nothing like a struggle to give me some good compositional material :)
I spoke with Alex, of music and double glazing, which is imminent in his chilly abode. I also bought him a nespresso machine, which I can't really afford, but just seemed like a nice thing to do.
It's been a busy day.
Tomorrow I see 'Gary the composer Carpenter' for the second time. This time with my new piano score and big band composition. Ooh.
and to top it all, I made a super yum stir fry with king prawns and cashew nuts.
Today, life is fine.
I like those days indeed.
Nunight x
Sunday 19 September 2010
1 week in...
It has been a challenging start to my new life; so many adjustments to make, and in many ways, re-defining who I think I might be. I bring with me all of my ideas, my strengths, my weaknesses, into this new world. I have tried to be open to new ways of thinking and feeling, that have to this point in my life, not really been challenged (well, not to this level anyway!)
Up until thursday evening, I thought I had made a terrible mistake. Not that the academy isn't everything I had hoped for, but that it was more than I'd hoped for, and that I wouldn't be able to rise to the heights that they seemed to be asking of us. yet, on Friday, we had the composition department meeting; everyone from the 4 years of undergrads, the 2 year masters and the doctoral nuts. There was something about the vibe in the room that made me feel I might be in the right place afterall. Then, at the end of the meeting, Phil Cashian gave out our projects for the year, and I think that was the point that I could see what lies ahead.
I need a plan. A framework. Goals. Until friday, I didn't really know where I was going. And now I do, so I can visualise the point ahead, and work out how to get there.
My projects are super exciting...
I'll be working with
Bristol Animation studios,
Doing a live electronic music performance,
writing for Chroma Musika (canadian ensemble),
Roehampton dance,
and
Rolf Hind (British pianist, composer)
plus there's the internal work. The composition workshops, the recording techniques and the orchestration and conducting.
ok. It's a lot, A big lot. So I'm going to cut out anything that I can in order to make time. Time is my biggest enemy. I shall be the multi-tasker extraordinaire!
Luckily, Oscar & Ellen are growing up, and are basically very happy kids. That is so important. I couldn't do this if they were messy. I try to let them know that every minute we spend together is as important to me as it is to them, so no one is left behind.
Then Alex is kind and supportive. He seems to know when I need him really close, or when I need to be on my own, or just with Oj and Nel. It seems perfectly natural to me at 37 to have a boyfriend, rather than a husband or 'partner'. It's a different bag, and we like the time we spend together, without the pressures of the 'big-commitment'...yi, it works, and I'd really miss him of he wasn't in my life.
My family are the bedrock. Ma n Pa are stepping up and being super helpful, especially with the kids, but just in the interest they show for what I'm doing.
There's more, so many more super people. But this isn't an acceptance speech (or is it?) ...
Ha. I've got work to do! Am loving scribbling this down tho, I thought it might help, and so far, it does.
:)
Up until thursday evening, I thought I had made a terrible mistake. Not that the academy isn't everything I had hoped for, but that it was more than I'd hoped for, and that I wouldn't be able to rise to the heights that they seemed to be asking of us. yet, on Friday, we had the composition department meeting; everyone from the 4 years of undergrads, the 2 year masters and the doctoral nuts. There was something about the vibe in the room that made me feel I might be in the right place afterall. Then, at the end of the meeting, Phil Cashian gave out our projects for the year, and I think that was the point that I could see what lies ahead.
I need a plan. A framework. Goals. Until friday, I didn't really know where I was going. And now I do, so I can visualise the point ahead, and work out how to get there.
My projects are super exciting...
I'll be working with
Bristol Animation studios,
Doing a live electronic music performance,
writing for Chroma Musika (canadian ensemble),
Roehampton dance,
and
Rolf Hind (British pianist, composer)
plus there's the internal work. The composition workshops, the recording techniques and the orchestration and conducting.
ok. It's a lot, A big lot. So I'm going to cut out anything that I can in order to make time. Time is my biggest enemy. I shall be the multi-tasker extraordinaire!
Luckily, Oscar & Ellen are growing up, and are basically very happy kids. That is so important. I couldn't do this if they were messy. I try to let them know that every minute we spend together is as important to me as it is to them, so no one is left behind.
Then Alex is kind and supportive. He seems to know when I need him really close, or when I need to be on my own, or just with Oj and Nel. It seems perfectly natural to me at 37 to have a boyfriend, rather than a husband or 'partner'. It's a different bag, and we like the time we spend together, without the pressures of the 'big-commitment'...yi, it works, and I'd really miss him of he wasn't in my life.
My family are the bedrock. Ma n Pa are stepping up and being super helpful, especially with the kids, but just in the interest they show for what I'm doing.
There's more, so many more super people. But this isn't an acceptance speech (or is it?) ...
Ha. I've got work to do! Am loving scribbling this down tho, I thought it might help, and so far, it does.
:)
Monday 13 September 2010
The Ears of an Angel?
I don't know about you, but when I think of angels, I don't tend to think about their ears as my first port of call!
I went to the London South Bank University today to have my 'audiometric test', which is a government initiative relating to noise at work (tho more to protect road digger types than sensitive musicians!). Basically we get a test now, a seminar about protecting our lug'oles, and a test at the end of our course.
Anyway, after sitting in an acoustic booth for what seemed like 17 hours, but was probably not much more than 5 minutes, (wondering whether it was normal to hear the blood rushing through my poor ear lobes from the extreme pressure of the headphones, and indeed further wondering whether this audible sensation might affect the results of my test) pressing a little button for each squeak I heard start and stop...i finally achieved my results.
I know that one's hearing, like eyesight and parts of the body affected by gravity (no detail here), that 40 is the golden age where it all goes to shit. So I was perfectly prepared to be told that my composing days were over before they had properly (ie. being paid to do it) begun, and that I should go back to the playground where I belong, and take my kids to the park more often! Therefore, I was delighted when the ear expert dude said that I had better than perfect hearing, and in fact, had the 'ears of an angel'. In the audiology world, there is a mark for perfect hearing, which is zero. My score was -20.
I am more than happy about my angelic ears, and hope that my short skirt bore no over-flattery of the real results, in which I have nice legs, but actually quite shit hearing!
I also made it through my first proper seminar today, on the importance of one's professional portfolio, and it's veritable contents. I take matters of education and goal setting very seriously; maybe it makes me a geek, or maybe it's why I get good marks nowadays (O my, please let that continue, as it matters very much when one is parting with huge sums of money for the privilege of being weighed and measured against a rather steep scale of attainment), either way, I loved the seminar, and think that the blokey who led it (Dr. Neil Heyde), is class at his job and his profession. I like people who love music, it's an affliction!
Tomorrow, I meet the fabled Gary Carpenter, who is to be my personal composition tutor. OOH it's so exciting! I even have moments where I am more excited than scared, though I think it could be a good few weeks (104??) before I stop waiting to feel an official tap on my shoulder followed by an apologetic, yet large man, telling me politely that there has been some mistake, and that it was quite another Miss Nikki Franklin who should have been offered this golden place of opportunity, and that I should quietly get my coat, and make my way back to the playground where I belong and to please take my kids to the park more often!
Okay, so it's scores out tomorrow for the beginning of my noise making under the knowledgeable eye, and perhaps angelic ear of Gary Carpenter...ooh, I can't wait!
If you don't hear from me for 7 weeks, you'll know he is a task-master extraordinaire, and that I am writing symphonies as fast as my faber-castel can take it!
Tra-la-la xxx off to the park then!
I went to the London South Bank University today to have my 'audiometric test', which is a government initiative relating to noise at work (tho more to protect road digger types than sensitive musicians!). Basically we get a test now, a seminar about protecting our lug'oles, and a test at the end of our course.
Anyway, after sitting in an acoustic booth for what seemed like 17 hours, but was probably not much more than 5 minutes, (wondering whether it was normal to hear the blood rushing through my poor ear lobes from the extreme pressure of the headphones, and indeed further wondering whether this audible sensation might affect the results of my test) pressing a little button for each squeak I heard start and stop...i finally achieved my results.
I know that one's hearing, like eyesight and parts of the body affected by gravity (no detail here), that 40 is the golden age where it all goes to shit. So I was perfectly prepared to be told that my composing days were over before they had properly (ie. being paid to do it) begun, and that I should go back to the playground where I belong, and take my kids to the park more often! Therefore, I was delighted when the ear expert dude said that I had better than perfect hearing, and in fact, had the 'ears of an angel'. In the audiology world, there is a mark for perfect hearing, which is zero. My score was -20.
I am more than happy about my angelic ears, and hope that my short skirt bore no over-flattery of the real results, in which I have nice legs, but actually quite shit hearing!
I also made it through my first proper seminar today, on the importance of one's professional portfolio, and it's veritable contents. I take matters of education and goal setting very seriously; maybe it makes me a geek, or maybe it's why I get good marks nowadays (O my, please let that continue, as it matters very much when one is parting with huge sums of money for the privilege of being weighed and measured against a rather steep scale of attainment), either way, I loved the seminar, and think that the blokey who led it (Dr. Neil Heyde), is class at his job and his profession. I like people who love music, it's an affliction!
Tomorrow, I meet the fabled Gary Carpenter, who is to be my personal composition tutor. OOH it's so exciting! I even have moments where I am more excited than scared, though I think it could be a good few weeks (104??) before I stop waiting to feel an official tap on my shoulder followed by an apologetic, yet large man, telling me politely that there has been some mistake, and that it was quite another Miss Nikki Franklin who should have been offered this golden place of opportunity, and that I should quietly get my coat, and make my way back to the playground where I belong and to please take my kids to the park more often!
Okay, so it's scores out tomorrow for the beginning of my noise making under the knowledgeable eye, and perhaps angelic ear of Gary Carpenter...ooh, I can't wait!
If you don't hear from me for 7 weeks, you'll know he is a task-master extraordinaire, and that I am writing symphonies as fast as my faber-castel can take it!
Tra-la-la xxx off to the park then!
Friday 10 September 2010
you know when you throw your coin in the well, and wait for the plop?
I've been standing on the edge of my particular wishing well for 3 days now, and I still didn't hear that comforting 'plop', so I still don't know how deep it is!
The nice thing tho, is that there already seems to be some pretty chilled people gathering around and listening too, so however deep, I'm not the only one listening...
Today, the small, but perfectly formed composition newbies gathered for our first meeting. I think it's gonna be okay here. Good, I might say. The other composers are smart people, without competitive egos. All I felt today was support...support of the strange maybe? The composition department is pretty small, and to one side, metaphorically, from the wealth of world-class performers that inhabit the rest of the building, but already there is a family vibe, a unity that I like. It's scary you know, being the out of town-er, the only mum, the 37, and certainly the smallest!!, but today I wasn't scared, just excited. Happy to have my locker, and to have used it for the first time. It's like piglet going exploring. I may be a small animal, but I'm going to be brave!
As for the music...I can feel it brewing. As we speak, there is a little ribbon floating around; it's been there all afternoon, but just a little out of reach, but it's coming closer, and that's going to be my first ribbon, ready to be used and grown upon. I think it's something dark, but not melancholy. I guess I'll find it in a minute and I'll write the bugger down...then see what happens. Maybe I'll hear that 'plop'? (or maybe that will never come?)
So I have my final weekend of relative freedom. The kids are with their dad, and I've just got a little teaching to do. Alex is gigging all weekend, and has some of his own shit to deal with. So it's me, Jake the cat, and those dancing ribbons.
Nice x
Wednesday 8 September 2010
Day One...
It has been an emotional day. A kinda crazee start really.
It's not easy trying to balance the commitments I have; work (teaching, gigging), bringing up my children, and study. Plus making quality time with my boyfriend and my family and friends. it doesn't always add up.
So, when I found out my new timetable is not the 3 days that I had been led to believe, but in fact 5 days a week, I have to admit, I'm rather freaked out. So, I've been on an organizational mission to try to find the balance. I'll be pulling 12 hour days on Monday and Tuesday in order to work, go into college, and maintain my private teaching and retain my sanctuary in Monday night rehearsals with the London Vocal Project. I've turned down the 4 hours teaching I was offered at a music specialist school, which is a 'damn shame', because it would have been great to work there. I've also moved my Saturday students to once a fortnight.
...well, I never thought this was going to be easy...
But to the positives (and there are many)
The whole vibe today at the academy was superb. The staff are welcoming and encouraging, and oozing enthusiasm for the music, which is where I really feel I will fit in. I think that to be successful in such a competitive world as music, you have to be focused and passionate, and I know that I fit both of those criteria. I don't really believe in that 'natural talent' thing. Sure, some people have a leaning, an understanding of the rhythms of music, that certainly heighten the appeal of study, but I know of no musician who hasn't worked bloody hard to get where they are. It's a kind of addiction. When one of the lecturers today said that what we do as musicians, is to bring pleasure to people through music, and get paid for it; he was spot on. That's exactly what I think. It's why I can commit as much musically to Billy and Mandy's wedding reception, as I do to a big performance. The gift I give is the same. Enjoy the music!
I met some interesting people today, and there are without doubt plenty more to find. There is Benedict, a postgraduate composer and conductor from Switzerland, who won a competition to get his place. There is Dorian, from somewhere else (I can't remember), a violinist, specializing in baroque instruments and performance, who had a cool idea for a composition linking history with modern. Stephen, another postgrad guy from Northern Ireland, who'll be singing his way through the nest two years. and Ruta, DPhil composer from Lithuania, who I happened to be sitting next to in the introductory meeting.
Loads more people to meet, but definitely an encouraging environment.
Well, there is going to be much to say, I am sure. It was a delight to come home to my kids and get the cuddles in before bedtime. Maybe it will be hard, but it might just not be possible if it wasn't for those cuddles!
Sunday 5 September 2010
606
Today I sung at the 606 club, Lots Road, London, with my choir of fab people, the London Vocal Project.
We have been on an amazing journey together, from humble beginnings in our rehearsal space at the Church on the Corner in Islington, through performances with Norma Winstone, Dame Cleo Laine and Sir Johnny Dankworth, and Bobby McFerrin with Roger Treece. We are led and inspired by Pete Churchill, who is simply within the music. The detail of sound and performance that he suggests to us, has led us beyond any individual's capabilities.
The highlight today, was the first solo performance from one of our newest members, Kwabena, currently studying the the Academy. He ripped the arse out of Stevie Wonder's "Love's in Need' (Songs in the key of life). It was a delight to see him perform. More from him, and from all of us without a doubt.
The LVP have been my sanctuary through all of my personal struggles, and when we sing together, nothing else in the world matters. It's all good really...
Still freaked about starting my Masters on Wednesday...ouch. Will be interesting to see how I feel 3 weeks down the line.
x
We have been on an amazing journey together, from humble beginnings in our rehearsal space at the Church on the Corner in Islington, through performances with Norma Winstone, Dame Cleo Laine and Sir Johnny Dankworth, and Bobby McFerrin with Roger Treece. We are led and inspired by Pete Churchill, who is simply within the music. The detail of sound and performance that he suggests to us, has led us beyond any individual's capabilities.
The highlight today, was the first solo performance from one of our newest members, Kwabena, currently studying the the Academy. He ripped the arse out of Stevie Wonder's "Love's in Need' (Songs in the key of life). It was a delight to see him perform. More from him, and from all of us without a doubt.
The LVP have been my sanctuary through all of my personal struggles, and when we sing together, nothing else in the world matters. It's all good really...
Still freaked about starting my Masters on Wednesday...ouch. Will be interesting to see how I feel 3 weeks down the line.
x
Friday 3 September 2010
A new journey
What is a single mother from Crawley doing, going back to school? Well, iI can tell you, it's been an interesting journey, and this is just another step along the way. Where will it lead? I don't know, and I don't much mind. It's the journey that thrills me.
Next Wednesday I start a Masters in Composition at the Royal Academy of Music in London. It is beyond a life ambition, and I feel so privileged to have been given this opportunity.
Who am I anyway? I am a 37 year old mother of 2. Oscar and Ellen - 8 and 7 now, and both at junior school this year. I have been a musician for 20 years...20 years? It seems crazy! And still I ramble on, ever changing, but with one constant in my life - the music.
I play the piano, and play keyboards in various bands; function bands mainly, some great, some crap. I also sing. How I love to sing!
My favourite kind of music to perform is jazz. Me, my piano, my voice. Its quite something to be self-sufficient as a musician, to be able to create a performance all on your own. Of course, I love to play with other musicians, (especially the ones that listen!) but it is nice to just sit there and noodle through my favourite tunes. I've played pianos in so many places - from castles to barracks, mansion houses to smelly pubs. It's all about the music. Once I start to play, it doesn't matter where I am or what time it is, it's not about how much I will be paid, or what happens next. It's just about the music, and it wraps you up and takes you wherever you want to go.
I've opened this blog because I know that the next 2 years of study are going to be really challenging, and my way of coping with stress is to write things down. It leaves more space in my head for thinking about the things I am supposed to be concentrating on.
and so...let the journey begin.
Nikki x
Next Wednesday I start a Masters in Composition at the Royal Academy of Music in London. It is beyond a life ambition, and I feel so privileged to have been given this opportunity.
Who am I anyway? I am a 37 year old mother of 2. Oscar and Ellen - 8 and 7 now, and both at junior school this year. I have been a musician for 20 years...20 years? It seems crazy! And still I ramble on, ever changing, but with one constant in my life - the music.
I play the piano, and play keyboards in various bands; function bands mainly, some great, some crap. I also sing. How I love to sing!
My favourite kind of music to perform is jazz. Me, my piano, my voice. Its quite something to be self-sufficient as a musician, to be able to create a performance all on your own. Of course, I love to play with other musicians, (especially the ones that listen!) but it is nice to just sit there and noodle through my favourite tunes. I've played pianos in so many places - from castles to barracks, mansion houses to smelly pubs. It's all about the music. Once I start to play, it doesn't matter where I am or what time it is, it's not about how much I will be paid, or what happens next. It's just about the music, and it wraps you up and takes you wherever you want to go.
I've opened this blog because I know that the next 2 years of study are going to be really challenging, and my way of coping with stress is to write things down. It leaves more space in my head for thinking about the things I am supposed to be concentrating on.
and so...let the journey begin.
Nikki x
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