Mid Life crisis

Not mine, I hasten to add...
What is a mid life crisis anyway? 
I think it's that point where you wonder whether the thing you are doing now is the thing that you will always be doing, and whether that 'thing' is what you wanted to anyway....


I'm lucky. I saw my mid life crisis coming a mile off. Went back to university, left my husband, found a new lover, a new house, a new life - I think before the 'crisis' hit. It wasn't easy, but I'm quite pleased that at nearly 38, I'm comfortable in my skin, comfortable with my choices, happy with where I'm heading...
what's the only advantage of having a manic depressive husband who is 18 years older than you?...he's gonna fuck it up first, and you can learn from his mistakes!! I guess that's why the personal blog today. Many of my friends are closer to 25 than 35; so more 1/4 life crisis candidates, which precludes sex with teenagers, or stupid haircuts (ha - look forward to your late 30's my friends!)


You know, I split with my ex nearly 5 months ago, but we still had a 'physical relationship' until this month, when I finally said ENOUGH! I guess I couldn't get my head around him wanting to spend his time with an 18 year old, and yet still come home to me. His excuse?..."I'm a man - who wouldn't want 2 women?"...you can see why I said enough huh? I seriously think he'd have happily carried on with two girlfriends if I hadn't put a stop to it. Poor bugger. Now there's a mid-life crisis personified!!


So, what it comes down to, is always music. So much music everywhere. My sanctuary. My inspiration.
I have turned many corners this week. Today, my piece "Shadows of Trees on Sunny Water" was workshopped by the Chroma Ensemble. It was so breathtaking to hear the 'dots on the page' be transformed into real music, I was quite overwhelmed. i can't wait until the performance on Friday; I put away my humble badge when I say I'm proud of the music I'm making, and I'm proud of the stand I am taking. 


Life offers opportunities, and life takes them away. 
Next time I will write more of the music. But today, I have a herniated disc in my back which makes me cry when I walk. Today, I am glad that I averted my mid life crisis before it became a joke, today, I look forward to tomorrow, and know that I am lucky, for not enough people look to tomorrow.


I have a rainbow shining over me. it needs rain and sun to shine.


That's me. Rain and sun. Thunder and showers. Faith and Hope. Tra la la...it's gonna be okay :)


nunight friends xxx